


The Problem with Porgs: An In-Depth Examination of An Invasive Species

by DaxAeterna



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Far Future, Minor Original Character(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-01
Updated: 2018-01-01
Packaged: 2019-02-26 09:22:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13232778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DaxAeterna/pseuds/DaxAeterna
Summary: Over one thousand years have passed since the end of the Galactic Civil War, but the universe is still dealing with the after effects. One professor, Lee Darbra, hopes to procure her tenure as a biology professor at Theed University. But her proposal, a theory that porgs are an invasive species, is seen as ridiculous at best. Can she find the evidence she needs to get her research funded?





	The Problem with Porgs: An In-Depth Examination of An Invasive Species

“Lee, you were the brightest student at Theed University. I’ve never taught anyone as sharp and curious as you are. I am so glad we have you on staff now”

“So you will -”

“No. I will not. I am not letting you throw your career away on some wild, well, porg chase.”

“But we have never been able to track down -”

“Lee, you have explained this to me more than a dozen times. I will not sign it, I will not endorse your application for a grant to re-examine settled science. You are up for tenure next year; the university would not look upon you kindly if you waste your money trying to prove some outlandish theory that the porgs are an invasive species.” Doctor Masare shoved away the paper Lee had been waving around in of her face and marched off.

Lee watched her retreating back for some time before realizing she was now alone in what was actually Doctor Masare’s office. She slumped her shoulders, slid the grant application into her bag and retreated back to the office she shared with two other associate professors.

“I take it she didn’t sign it, by the look on your face,” Azaana Ran said as Lee plopped her bag down on her desk.

“No, she didn’t. She wouldn’t even look at the bibliography I’ve prepared!”

“I’m sorry, Lee. What are you going to do?”

“I don’t know, but I am not letting this go. Porgs are an environmental disaster. Just look at how many native species have gone extinct or endangered in the last 500 years on Naboo! They aren’t a native species that is just now reaching their height, this isn’t them being more adaptable than other species in an era of galactic climate change caused by the destruction of the Hosnian system and other effects of the civil war!”

“You don’t have to convince me, Lee. I know, but I also can’t do anything to change the mind of our department chair.”

“Yeah, I could do something different for my research this year but I don’t really have the time to put together another bibliography.”

 

Lee finished up the day teaching several intro classes to students who did not care at all about biology. Theed University required everyone receive a well-rounded education, and as such, all students were required to take two natural science courses, two courses in the arts or humanities, and two courses in the social sciences. Her intro courses had the unofficial status of “bio for poets.” She’d tried to shake this reputation, going so far as to start scheduling her courses in the earliest time slots, but to no avail.

It wasn’t so bad if she only ended up with one person on the legislative track, but often she had half a dozen. Those classes would devolve into heated arguments about policy efforts to deal with the ongoing effects from the tears in hyperspace caused by Starkiller Base. She would remind them that is was a biology class, not an environmental science class or a policy class, but the debates would just become more opaque.

Several years ago, she had the misfortune of teaching a particularly difficult student, his name escaped her now, but she would never forget him responding to her call for order and to get back on track with “you are a Sith collaborator and an Imperial sympathizer! Attempts to stop this debate are tantamount to denial of galactic climate change and an effort to show the evil Imperials as less sinister and dangerous! You are fueling neo-Imperialists with this attitude! Can’t you see the harm you are doing?” That student ended up failing her class after missing the last two weeks of school, missing one exam and his final paper. Dealing with undergraduate students was the worst part of her job.

This semester was thankfully free of many of the elements that turned her class to chaos; second semester usually was easier as the newest freshmen had had a chance to figure out how to behave in university. She slung her backpack over her shoulder, locked up her shared office, and headed home.

She lived in a small residence a little ways from the towering domes of the University with two other associate professors. Raannaa Rizes was an associate professor in the history department, with a focus on the history of the Rebel Alliance during the Galactic Civil War. Her walls were filled with maps and timelines showing everything from the Battle of Naboo, to the destruction of the second Death Star, to the Battle of Crait and many many more. She had partnered with the holo and theatre departments to develop re-creations of some of these battles and had tried to rope Lee in on many occasions. “Lee, you could be our General Organa, aren’t you even named after her?”

The answer was yes, but so was a good fifth of the galaxy as this point. Even though it had been roughly a thousand years since the creation of the New Galactic Republic, people were still naming their children “Rey” or “Finn” or “Leia” or “Rose” or “Amilyn” or “Luke.” In an attempt to make herself stand out more, Lee had given herself a nickname. Of course she always refused the Togruta’s request.

Her other roommate was a little more focused on and now and here. Tima Vebbar was an associate professor of modern art. Lee had made the mistake of asking the Mon Calamari during their first meeting what exactly ‘modern art’ was. To this day Lee was still confused about how one decided what was “modern” when the years kept ticking forward but the starting point for ‘modern art’ never shifted.  But Tima had filled their economical space with beautiful paintings and gorgeous statues, and there was always delightful music playing throughout the home.

Lee walked in the door to find Raannaa occupying the dining room, with several maps scattered across the table. Precise maps of star systems, detailed maps of galactic regions, and a few showing just a single city. Raannaa did not notice Lee’s approach, or even Lee sitting down at the table and dropping her bag to the floor.

“Hey, Raannaa,” Lee said. “Will this be cleared off for dinner?”

No answer.

“Raannaa, hey!”

“But that does not make sense, this account says Skywalker never left Ahch-To. It’s not a primary source at all, just a mechanic who says she talked to Rose Tico who heard it from Rey. But then, according to this diary entry from Kaydel Ko Connix, Skywalker arrived at the base and faced Kylo Ren on his own. But if he was on Ahch-To, how would he have gotten to Crait so quickly? They only had mapped a few dozen hyperspace routes back then...”

“Raannaa!” Lee snapped her fingers in front of her roommates face.

Raannaa jumped, bumping her montrals on the low ceiling. “Oh, Lee! I’m so sorry! I’ve been so wrapped up in this…” she waved her hands at the table, “well, this mess. A new journal from the Battle of Crait, it was uncovered in those ruins I was telling you about last week! It claims that Luke Skywalker was not actually on Crait! All this time, we historians have been trying to figure out how Skywalker would have been able to arrive on Crait in time. Did he know about hyperspace routes the rest of the galaxy didn’t? We have the map that Rey used to find him, but that route was, well, not fast enough. There’s been a huge debate about this -”

“For decades?”

“Something like that, yeah. Anyways, I got so wrapped up in this I lost track of time. But dinner does sound good.” Raanna began gathering up all her maps, Lee watching with amusement. Never let it be said academics didn’t love what they did. They probably loved it far too much. Putting up with undergrads would have deterred all but the most dedicated.

“Hey, wait,” Lee said, her eye catching on some of the star systems on the screens Raannaa hadn’t put away yet. “Are these all of the star systems the Rebels had bases on?”

“Well, there is debate about when the Resistance became the new Rebel Alliance but…”

“Raannaa…”

“Yes, fine, all of these are systems the Rebels had after the Battle of Crait.”

“Huh. Interesting.”

“What?”

“Those are all planets the porgs are found in, one subspecies or another.”

“You don’t say.”

“Yeah, there are others they can be found on -” Raannaa began unpacking her maps again, placing all of them on the table. A few clicks of some buttons and she had an array of every star system that had been used by the Rebels after the battle of Crait. The planets and moons in those systems with Rebel activity glowed in a bright white.

“Are these the planets you were thinking of?” Raannaa gave Lee a satisfied grin.

“Yes, actually.”

“I think you just found the way to get your department chair to approve your research.”

 

Lee didn’t sleep for three days. She asked her teaching assistants to cover her classes. She borrowed every record Raannaa had of the bases the Rebels used post-Crait. She made the dining room her study, much to Tima’s annoyance. Tima erected a room divider to cordon off the dining room so that their “art friends” could enjoy an aesthetically sophisticated soiree in the living room. Lee didn’t even notice.

At random intervals she would emerge from her porg-cave and seek out Raannaa, wanting to ask about certain details - did the Rebellion really only escape on a single ship, and a crappy one at that? That ship… that ship…

That ship had been to Ahch-To.

It was all falling into place. Lee took her scattered notes and diagrams and sped to the biology department. She turned a corner to head to Masare’s office, but instead collided with her. “Professor! I am so sorry!” Lee bent down to pick up their things.

“Ms. Darbra. I have not seen you since I told you, again, that I would not endorse your research and grant application. I take it you have been busy putting together a more rigorous proposal? The trustees are looking forward to your work, perhaps you have been working on a continuation of your research of the evolution of -”

“Professor, no, yes, I mean, no, no. I have it, I have done some more digging into the porgs -”

“Lee!”

“Hear me out, please. Here, look!” Lee opened her bag and fumbled for one of her diagrams. “See, here, this is a map of the star systems that have porg subspecies on them.” Doctor Marsae cocked an eyebrow. “Please, hear me out. And  _ this _ -” she pressed a small button, and another layer was added to the map, “ _ this _ is a map of the star systems that the Rebels used post-Crait. See? The Rebels had just one ship, a ship that had just come from Ahch-To. My theory is that Ahch-To has porgs, and those porgs are the genetic ancestors of all the other ones, and the porgs spread because of stowaways on this ship! The galactic radiation from hyperspace teras and destruction of habitats throughout the galaxy from the civil war may have contributed to porgs being able to thrive, but they wouldn’t have been on those worlds in the first place if not for that journey to Ahch-To. They are an extra-galactic invasive species taking advantage of the galactic climate change!”

“This is more rigorous than your earlier assertions,” Doctor Masara agreed, reluctance lacing her words. “Do you have a thorough bibliography reflecting this new aspect of your research?”

“Of course! I have re-written my abstract and outline, as well as added in line items in the estimated expenses for travel to Ahch-To and the formal  Rebel bases. I am going to make sure to get specimens of all on which to run genetic sequencing, too. I’ve already contacted some historians who are experts on either the civil war or the histories of those respective planets, I have even found experts on both!”

“I am still not entirely convinced. But leave a copy of everything in my mailbox. I will take a look tonight.”

“Right away!” Lee nearly skipped down the hall. She got to the department office, punched in Dr. Masare’s codes, and uploaded her files to the mailbox. She then went to her own shared office, and promptly took a very long nap at her desk.


End file.
